I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
