I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
