He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
