YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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