She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
