Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
