my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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