I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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