my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
