You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
