Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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