K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
