no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
