my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize