I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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