so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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