We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
