Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
now i know why i became what i already was.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
