i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
