i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize