I CAN MOONWALK!
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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