I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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