Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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