Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My liver just had a heart attack.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
