Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
