Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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