How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
how drunk are you?
Several
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
