Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
