yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
