apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
