Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
