If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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