i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
now i know why i became what i already was.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
