we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
