R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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