what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
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