Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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