what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
