I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize