Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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