She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
