I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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