Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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