I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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