You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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