Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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