I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
