Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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