if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
