apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
