you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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