my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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