get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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