My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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