just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm like, not good at living.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
